Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Workin' Hard for the Money

Excerpts from the Working Mommy-World 
as a 3rd grade teacher

Night before work: pick out a work outfit from the 2 possible work appropriate choices. Look longingly at your yoga pants and whisper "I'll see you soon". Make lunch and remember how much you dislike bagged lunches. Pack a soda to drink later as a reward for making it through the day. 

Somewhere between 3-4AM Wake up to baby. Either feed or stick pacifier in mouth. 

5:30 AM Wake up to alarm. 3 days into the working world: turn off alarm and fall back asleep. Awesome.

6:30 AM Feed baby, pass her off to Mom or Husband. 

7:25 AM Spend the next 7 hours answering to Mrs. Suits, writing passes to the nurse and teaching/entertaining 20 ready-for-summer kids 

Remember how germy, needy and talkative 9 year olds can be

Think, "For the love of all things that are holy, can someone please fix my projector bulb. All I ask for is one 30 minute magic school bus video" 

9:30 AM Housekeeper watches your kids while you "Check on your baby". Lock yourself in a non-air conditioned room to ahem, provide baby with food for the next day. Sweat. At least a pound off. 

11:15-11:25 AM Eat lunch while you open packets of ranch and acknowledge the silent "May I use the restroom" signal. 

Remember how short lunch is 

11:25-12:00 AM Dodge fire ants, squint in the sun as you referee the kickball game and make sure everyone goes the right way down the slide. 

Remember how long recess is 

12:20 PM Drop kids off at art class and sneak a kit-kat bar from the science lab

Okay, I snuck two

1:00-2:20 PM Finally accept the fact that the projector won't get fixed and no videos will be shown. 

4:45 PM Hobble up the front steps, avoid the "I've haven't seen you in YEARS" greeting from the 80 pound terrier mix and greet the family, especially the baby who's grown by leaps and bounds since you left and looks like she's ready for her junior prom. 

6:00 PM Be thankful, once again, that your Ma is living with you and provides tasty meals and buys 4 (FOUR) half gallons of ice cream and makes things like frozen lemonade pies and butterscotch oatmeal cookies. THANKSMA.

 Life with a new baby, life with naps
(picture from Anna)

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happy FIRST birthday to our Audrey Anna!